As an INTJ personality, my values of intellectual (170), professional (160), and physical (140) can aid me in future endeavors because they are strengths I have spent a lifetime developing. I was fortunate to realize at a young age that I did not want kids or a family of my own. Being disciplined and focused on goals has allowed me to fulfill this lifestyle still today. Refraining from marriage and kids has willed me to develop areas within myself that other men are not able to focus on.
Most men get married and rely on their wife for their emotional development. However, the lifestyle that I have lived as an adult has focused on emotional growth, uncovering the necessary intrinsic values to succeed professionally, and exploring modern science to bring out the fullest potential of my genetics.
I have a friend from Staten Island whom I served with, in the Marine Corps. Recently, he sent me a picture of all four of his kids, with the question, “where are your kids”? I sent him four photos of the logos that represent the four businesses I’ve created over the past ten years. I told him those were my babies, and I do look at my companies as entities that will survive me, fifty plus years from today.
The social (80) and community (80) values I scored could improve by removing the mask and letting people communicate with the genuine self.
My struggles with social environments are not related to shyness or being timid. The obstacles that present themselves are that many people act with surface level learned behaviors, and are often not representing their “true” sentiments. They are reflecting their feelings in socially acceptable manners.
As an introvert (INTJ), I have discovered how not to act, what not to say, and what to avoid, to evade people viewing me in negative ways that I do not control. There is a subtle power in commanding the flow of information when in social situations, since the ‘benefit of the doubt’ goes to the first impression.
What is lacking in extroverted charisma is made up for with in-depth thought, professional curiosity, and a one on one connection that allows me to create trust between myself and another person. All of which, comes from accepting that I will be judged by others regardless of anything I can do or control.
Being a black (INTJ) man in America, I learned from a young age that stereotypes and perceptions matter. There were many social situations I found myself in where I was the only person of color in attendance, and those scenarios taught me to accept that people will judge you.
A stranger’s prejudgment provides the opportunity to leverage their judgment to my advantage if it is not resisted or viewed as an offense. Whether it is through impressing them, turning their former perception into stark contrast, or being able to define who I am as a man against any of the men they have previously known, I will have an opportunity to make an impact.
One of the tools I have implemented into leading others in social or communal settings is by allowing people to have their previous experiences. Many people have been witness to, or a victim of, something they feel is a violation or offense against them, and they create mental barriers to protect themselves from future harm. Often that shield of protection includes blanketing an entire race or demographic of people, purely by an arbitrary association to the past.
As a leader (INTJ), when people are permitted to honor those feelings and experiences, it can create an opening for new learning and diverse associations. The respect that a leader can gain from their followers as a result of this is profound and will be the strategy I continue to improve within or leverage social situations.